Peaceful Parenting and Privilege

I believe Peaceful Parenting is right for every child and every parent. There is no child on this planet who would not benefit from a respectful, gentle approach. However, Peaceful Parenting is broad and solutions are not one-size-fits-all. More important, privilege plays a major role in it.

I am a white ciswoman. I am married. My husband is employed and I am able to stay home to parent. I am able to feed and clothe my children without any worry. And, while our family’s income is not currently sufficient to support our needs without some public assistance, my husband’s retirement account is growing and I will almost certainly be the recipient of generational wealth eventually, so we have assets that many families do not. We also have extended family members who provide much of what we cannot.

To my readers who aren’t sure if they’re in the right place, I want you to know that I realize my situation is no comparison, for instance, to that of a woman of color raising children on her own, working multiple jobs, and fearing for her children’s health and safety. So, while I will always promote Peaceful Parenting and try to offer suggestions to parents who pose problems to me, I am no sanctimommy and I recognize that what works for me won’t work for everyone. I also recognize that I am representative of whiteness and a symbol of privilege. There will be parents who come to this blog and have trouble relating to what I post. It is not my place to lecture a disadvantaged person on how to be a better parent when I am shielded from the trials they face. My intention is to offer support and brainstorm ideas; not to heap more pressure onto your shoulders. As I go forward, I intend to compile resources from people who can speak to your experience in a way I cannot. I do sincerely hope that we can find common ground and that you will take something positive away from my words, whatever that might look like for you.

To readers who are more like me, particularly white readers, I want you to understand my belief is that, as a white person, I am responsible for speaking directly to other white people regarding issues of justice, particularly issues that directly impact Black people, as half of my family is Black. With that said, I defer to the expert words of Dr. Joy Degruy who explains some of the historic-cultural differences between white parents and Black parents and, proximally, why Peaceful Parenting is especially complicated for Black people. My hope is that this video will open your eyes to your own privilege and help you understand how your experience is not the same as that of people of color. I intend to bring more of this content to the blog to encourage my fellow white readers to be a disruptive force where you can to the benefit of oppressed people.

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