Education

Curriculum Round-Up 2020-2021

As a fairly new homeschooling parent, I relied a lot on reviews given by other parents. Here is my contribution to all the voices of parents helping parents. I hope this round-up proves helpful to you! Check out my previous articles about our homeschooling journey: Switching From Public School to Homeschool and Can You Homeschool An Autistic Child?

When I first set out to home educate my Pre-Ker, using an eclectic Charlotte Mason approach, I knew that I didn’t want to take an academic route. I wanted to provide minimally structured, play-based learning with plenty of time for self-directed interests. I also wanted to avoid Christian curricula, which probably sounds strange since I’m a clergy wife. The trouble is that I rarely find curriculum authors who share my family’s Orthodox Christian theological perspective. Our theological foundation is fundamentally different from other branches of the Christian family, and I find there’s too much emphasis on things like depravity, shame, and substitutionary atonement that I prefer not to encounter and I certainly don’t want my children to encounter.

While I shuffled things around at the beginning of the year, we ended up settling into a four-day schedule plus unschooling-friendly Fridays. Our Fridays have been wonderful! Following the children’s interests has brought us to interesting places on field trips, informational documentaries on Curiosity Stream (for less than $20 a year!), lots of outdoor play, and new revelations, like the fact we apparently have artistic talent under this roof.

Core Curriculum

Blossom and Root graphic

Blossom and Root Early Years, Volume 2 is a gentle, secular pre-k program with 36 weeks worth of easy-going activities. Each week includes an assignment for nature study, picture and composer study, art project, kitchen classroom, early literacy and math, STEM projects, and read-alouds. This curriculum was a hit! It was slow enough to enjoy savoring, yet robust enough to keep my curious child interested.

I chose Blossom and Root, because I was drawn in by Kristina Garner’s beautiful blog posts, the samples, and testimonials from other parents.

What You Get

This is a pdf resource you must download and either print yourself at home or by a professional. Lots of families choose to bind their copies, but I hole-punched and stored mine in the same binder I use to store my child’s portfolio. Please note that some, but not all, of the pages are numbered to allow flexibility in how you print and store your materials.

When I first purchased this curriculum, I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I assumed I’d see stodgy bullet lists in a neat line down the pages perhaps with some tables thrown in. What I got was more of a cross between a visual schedule and a to-do list. It took a little getting used to as the content is more artistic than orderly, not to say it’s disorderly, because it isn’t. It’s just different. As I went along, I became proficient as quickly flipping and scanning for what I needed to prepare each week.

I opted to use a loop schedule that had all the activities filled out in advance on one-page. Each day, I would note the date on which we completed the activity (or cross out activities we elected not to do). Then, I’d transfer the information into my planner to keep as a record. I plan to do the same thing next year, except that I’m going to pre-print the entire year of activities on a series of loop schedule sheets to make my weekend prep easier.

Pros

This curriculum created such beautiful experiences for my family! I’m not terribly creative when it comes to children’s activities, so it was a delight to come to each new activity and find they were all fun and educational. We used Blossom and Root’s Early Years 2 for music and art study, English language arts, gentle math fundamentals, read-alouds, STEM, nature study, artistic expression, and kitchen classroom. It took only 5-10 minutes per lesson per day, since we didn’t do every single thing every day. So, the time spent one-on-one over the course of the day never exceeded 30 minutes. I highly recommend this curriculum to anyone who is looking for a Charlotte Mason-inspired, gentle, pre-k curriculum for children around the ages of 4-5.

Cons

There really isn’t much I can call a con about this curriculum. If I dig deep, I’ll note two things. 1) I was concerned that it wasn’t as complete as I needed it to be, so I did supplement with two other resources which I’ll note below. The same might be the case for other families, especially those with Autistic children. 2) This curriculum requires A LOT of parental involvement. I had to set everything up each week and then each day. On some days, that felt like a burden as I tried to wrangle my brood and put activities together. That said, it didn’t take long and the activities are brief. We were able to finish all 36 weeks with little difficulty.

Pre-Reading Curriculum

Discover Reading graphic

Discover Reading combines a teacher guide, activity explanations, and sample lessons that give children a start on recognizing sounds, letters, and the words they created. This curriculum promises to help you:

  • grasp and apply Charlotte Mason’s principles
  • develop your child’s skills in phonemic awareness, blending, word-building, visualization, word-analysis and automaticity in word recognition
  • encourage a love for language and stories using interesting activities filled with inspiring ideas
  • find special delight in teaching your unique children

I chose Discover Reading because I wanted a gentle, Charlotte Mason resource for introducing the concepts necessarily to effectively begin reading.

What You Get

This resource is another PDF product that requires you to print the materials and store them in your preferred way.

The author takes a minimalist approach to the presentation of the materials within the PDF. She uses almost all text, and the rare graphic here and there. It is clean and easy to navigate. I especially appreciated the section called A Scope & Sequence of Sorts as it described how to use the curriculum with children of different ages and abilities.

Each lesson begins with the wise words of Charlotte Mason, herself, followed by preparation tips and materials, and then an explanation of the activity. Little notes from the author are sprinkled throughout the document, helping the homeschool teacher understand how best to regard the child and present the information. Quotes from Charlotte Mason feature prominently across all the activities, placing us modern homeschool teachers in the frame of mind of our educational mentor. Each activity comes with an example of how it may look in real-life application.

Pros

Discover Reading is as Charlotte Mason as you can get. If you are a Charlotte Mason purist, I expect you will love it! For the rest of us, it is a solid and helpful resource. The activities are logical and the progress by building on each other. I enjoyed the simplicity and clarity with which I was able to implement each lesson.

Cons

The biggest con for my family is that it’s pretty dry. It’s not a very fun program to follow. There are some bright spots, but overall, it wasn’t very playful. Perhaps it’s not meant to be. I know that Charlotte Mason took studies seriously and her philosophy involved very intense, very brief lessons… but not until age 6, which is the age at which author, Amy Tuttle, recommends taking a more gently rigorous route with the materials. It just seemed to me that, even for 5 year olds, it was pretty grown-up. Also, one other thing. I’m not sure that this is the best curriculum of its kind for an Autistic child with communication barriers. There were more moments of frustration than joy.

Math Curriculum

Preschool Math at Home graphic

Preschool Math at Home is a very gentle, play-based program to introduce young children to math concepts like counting, numeral recognition, subitizing, comparing quantities and numbers, and addition and subtraction. The lessons take no more than five minutes and you can use whatever you have around the house as manipulatives with great success.

I chose Preschool Math at Home because I loved all the things Kate Snow had to say when she reviewed other math curricula and gave recommendations. Plus, I’ve only heard good things about the Math With Confidence series.

What You Get

This one is a physical book you can get from several bookstores. The publisher, Well-Trained Mind, also sells a PDF version.

This 140 page book is absolutely packed with playful, short activities that build, one to the next. It reads much like a textbook, in the sense that there are chapters and sections, explanations, activities, reviews, sidebar style notations, and end of unit “Is My Child Ready to Move On?” check-ins.

Pros

We thoroughly enjoyed this book! It’s autism-friendly, adaptable, and fun. I was able to communicate concepts to my child that had previously been elusive. If you’re anything like me and you have no idea where to start with early math skills, this is definitely a book to check out. I plan to stick with Kate Snow’s Math With Confidence series as long as we can. I highly recommend this resource!

Cons

There are very few. One thing that stood out to me was that a lot of the activities were very much alike, which helps in terms of building skills, but my child would lose interest with some things we attempted.

Extras

Prodigies Music Lessons graphic

Prodigies Music Lessons are a cost effective (compared to traditional music lessons) way to teach children ages 2-12 the basics of music theory, pitch training & playing a pitched instrument in quick, active video lessons via hand signs, solfege, bells, recorders, ukuleles, and books. According to their website, children will learn:

  • Pitch development through songs, games & activities about the musical notes
  • Rhythmic development through fun call and response songs (like Sweet Beets)
  • Listening & aural comprehension skills with “Name that Note” & other listening games
  • Play their first instrument, either on the Deskbells, xylophone, piano, recorder or Ukulele
  • Cross-curriculum skills like patterning, sequencing, early math & hand-writing
  • Composition skills using composition activities

I chose Prodigies because it was so portable and open-and-go. I was also able to get a slight monthly discount on scholarship due to our financial situation.

What You Get

When you sign up, you get access to the complete streaming library of over 600 videos that can be accessed on ProdigiesMusic.com and through the app, Prodigies Music Lessons (AppleTV, Roku, fireTV, iOS, Android, Chromecast). If you will not be using hand signs or singing along, you will need an instrument.

We chose deskbells. At first, we ordered some from a different website, but found they didn’t match the colors or sounds of the Prodigies lessons. That was a big hassle. We didn’t get refunded. Just store credit. Don’t do that. Then, I went ahead and got a couple sets on the Prodigies site, so my kids didn’t have to share during lessons. Let me stress how very expensive this proposition turned out to be. For two sets of bells, I paid $124, which was only made possible with assistance from my family.

Pros

Prodigies is extremely easy to use! The videos are engaging, simple to follow, and entertaining. If you’re looking for an all around early musical education that will engage your kids, I recommend this service.

Cons

The price. The price. The price! We wouldn’t be using this service without a scholarship. It doesn’t seem like much at $12.99/month, but that’s $156 per year on top of other curriculum you may be using. It’s not cheap. And, the cost of the instruments is going to be a consideration as well. Also, I hadn’t anticipated how rough my kids were going to be on the instruments. They get so amped that they start banging the deskbells into oblivion, so I have to stay right with them. This year, we’ve been following the videos while sitting on the floor of our living room with the bells. Next school year, I’m planning to move to the dining room table (our homeschool hub) and play the videos on our school-only tablet. I’m hoping that will help reduce the potential for destruction.

Salsa graphic

Salsa is a free, award-winning PBS show designed to teach Spanish to children from kindergarten through third grade. It incorporates familiar stories and fairytales, puppets, animation, and live action into 42 slow-paced video lessons. The creators explain that teachers, “do not need to be certified to teach a foreign language or be familiar with Spanish in order to use Salsa. It can be used in the classroom and homeschools and by anyone interested in teaching young kids to speak Spanish. Each video lesson is preceded by a staff development component that acquaints the instructor with the content and the objectives of the lesson, reviews all vocabulary words and demonstrates the correct pronunciation of all Spanish words included in the lesson.”

I chose Salsa mainly because it’s free and I know it passed the academic rigor of the Public Broadcasting Service which is an organization I trust for high-quality children’s education.

What You Get

These free video lessons can be accessed online or via the PBS app on compatible devices. We use our smart tv to watch the episodes. Plus, the Wyoming Department of Education created a scope and sequence guide that’s extremely helpful in creating easy lesson plans using the Salsa videos.

Pros

It’s free! And that means it’s accessible which is important to me. There are 42 lessons that build on each other, but can be watched individually like a regular kids’ tv show. I like that the show seamlessly highlights vocabulary words in each lesson.

Cons

There aren’t any bells and whistles. It’s not exciting or especially engaging. The show looks a bit like something I might have watched as a child back in the 1980s. It’s not a big deal for my family, because we live a slower pace of life anyway, but I could see how it could be considered “boring.”

Final Thoughts

My choices this year weren’t entirely low cost. I know you can conceivably homeschool for near-free, but I don’t have time to ferret out a bunch of free resources. Things will change as I become more comfortable as a homeschooling mom. My curriculum choices this year were beneficial overall. I noticed exceptional (and unexpected, by me) gains as a result of all the good work we did and I’m looking forward to taking a few weeks off this summer to reset for next year. Oh, and those unschooling-friendly Fridays were everything! If you’re looking to maintain a helpful rhythm and avoid burnout as a homeschooler, consider moving to a four-day schedule and unschool on Fridays. It’s been so worth it for us!

Where Black Students Excel

One of the things whiteness affords me is access to conversations I don’t want to be having. The tiring ones that I know I’m responsible to engage in by virtue of my privilege, my understanding of the stakes, and a moral imperative to betray white supremacy. So, when I see (and hear) white people denying the existence of systemic racism and chalking up the documented differences in opportunity and outcome between white people and Black, Indigenous, and people of color to personal failings, I’m compelled to seek out airtight responses that will destabilize their worldview. I need them upset and unsure, because that’s where growth starts.

To this end, I’ve been following a piece of evidence that popped up on my radar not too long ago. Something that has actually been known for years, but isn’t widely known among white people. First, Black families are among the fastest-growing populations withdrawing their children to homeschool.

And, second? Many Black homeschooled children are earning test scores higher than their white counterparts at public schools. Let me put that plainly: Homeschooling virtually eliminates the so-called “achievement gap” between Black students and white students. The reasons for the success of these children are myriad and understandable.

  1. Targeted, customized education benefits ALL children.
  2. Black kids are intelligent, despite what white supremacist institutions would have us believe.
  3. When Black kids are not subject to constant racism, they excel.
  4. Decentering whiteness and white history gives Black children a connection to the past and a vision for the future.

And, we know this is the case because, when Black homeschooled children were measured against Black public schooled children, the homeschooled cohort were found to have achieved reading scores FORTY-TWO percentage points higher than their peers, even when controlling for gender and socioeconomic status. Black parents are decisive in their reasoning for homeschooling. A 2015 study in the Journal of School Choice found that the top five reasons Black parents give for choosing homeschooling are:

  1. Providing religious or moral instruction.
  2. Transmitting their worldview to their children.
  3. Developing strong family relationships.
  4. Individualizing education.
  5. Accomplishing more academically than in conventional schools.

Please take note that the first three reasons given are not academic in nature. These parents brought their babies home to build them up, guard their hearts, and give them space to breathe and just be. Most of the parents who are homeschooling do not have education credentials, as is the case for most homeschool teachers. Degreed and certified teachers have an important role in our educational system, but they do not hold the keys to education.

I think about reparations a lot as a white person from a very long line of white people in the United States who have benefitted tremendously from exploitation. And, I wonder what impact we’d have on the future if Black families suddenly became entitled to a guaranteed living stipend to stay home and educate their kids. And, that is exactly the query I want to pose to people who claim systemic racism doesn’t exist. (But the answer is not what a lot of white people want to think about.)

Switching from Public School to Homeschool

I’ve long been intrigued by the concept of homeschooling. My parents are both educators who have embraced homeschooling, though they never chose this path for themselves. In the past few weeks, when our local school system gave parents the option of in-person or virtual learning, like many of you, I went through a major ordeal trying to weigh my options. At first, I considered an in-person return. Then, I got their COVID readiness plan, and the safety precautions were awfully light. That worried me.

Nearly a year ago, our family had a health scare and, even though I logically understand that the evidence supports a perspective that children’s risks with COVID are minimal, it simply wasn’t a chance I was willing to take. So, I filled out an application for virtual learning. As the difficult days wore on, I came to realize that the virtual option would be pointless when my children thrive on hands-on, customized learning. I was edging ever closer to jumping into homeschooling, but uncertainty held me back. I had so many questions. How could I be as effective as a certified teacher? What if there’s something I don’t know enough to teach? What if… I fail my kids?

I had to take it back to my Peaceful Parenting philosophy. I believe that children are curious, intelligent people who will learn even if they aren’t being actively taught. So, I started reading in earnest about homeschooling and how it’s done. I got a lot of advice about what worked for other people, but advice about how to make a decision for myself was sparse. So, I’m going to share with you a little of what I discovered.

First, a reminder.

"The decision that you make about school... is the right decision." Dr. Hope Seidel Cary Pediatric Center

In-person, virtual, or homeschooling, the decision a family makes about their children’s education during this pandemic is the right decision. Period. All the options have pros and cons, and only we can possibly reason through the impacts of the different options as they apply to our own families. If homeschooling is something that interests you, whether you plan to homeschool or not, I hope this information I’m about to lay out will be intriguing to you!

Our Process

COVID was really just the catalyst for something that was a long time coming. There had been situations along the way in our son’s public school education that had prompted lengthy discussions between Peaceful Dad and me. One of our more recent concerns was the school’s decision to host a Dr. Seuss Week during the NEA’s Read Across America initiative, even though the NEA has moved away from Dr. Seuss in favor of diversity in the past several years. We weren’t at all comfortable with our son involved in the celebration of someone as problematic as Theodor Seuss Geisel. That one issue didn’t push us away. We aren’t strangers to declining to participate in school activities that do not represent our values (e.g. not allowing our children to wear headdresses purportedly “honoring” indigenous people around Thanksgiving), even when it’s awkward. But, the convergence of so many valid reasons to withdraw made the chance to homeschool that much harder to resist.

Once Peaceful Dad and I made our decision, a switch flipped in my mind. I had to know all the things. I joined a bunch of groups and started absorbing information. I credit one group, in particular, for giving me a base from which to work: Secular, Eclectic, Academic (SEA) Homeschoolers. Wait, pause. Are you wondering why a clergy wife joined a secular group?? Well, because I’m super pro-science, pro-liberation for marginalized people, and so on. These are things one would expect to find in a secular, eclectic, and academic group and, trust, they didn’t disappoint.

In the SEA group, I found this amazing Homeschooling 101 document that served as my very first guide into the world of homeschooling. In short, the document goes over how to formulate a mission statement, information about state requirements for homeschoolers, an explanation of methodologies, scheduling year-round versus school calendar-based, and naming your homeschool. I highly recommend this group and, especially, that document.

Mission Statement

Since I will be the primary educator for our homeschool, I went ahead and put together an overall proposal for homeschooling to discuss with Peaceful Dad. I thought about what I wanted my mission to be. Since we’d decided to homeschool indefinitely, and not just during the pandemic, I knew I was setting the tone for the foreseeable future, so I wrote a statement that would point to the Peaceful Parents we are and that would serve us for many years to come: To invigorate our children’s curiosity and open doors to knowledge. Our mission statement doesn’t box us in, but it does remind us what it is we’re doing.

State Requirements

Our state is low regulation, but regulations still do exist. For instance, my kids have to take standardized tests starting in third grade. But, for the most part, the state doesn’t ask for the results. They don’t ask for much but a declaration of intent to homeschool. I get the sense that the requirements are a way to check in if necessary, but also a way to make the transition to a traditional school easier should the need or want arise.

If you’re curious about your own state, check out this information from the Homeschool Legal Defense Association.

Methodology

When you call to mind a vision of homeschooling, do you imagine children doing worksheets out of Christian workbooks at their kitchen table while their mother reads from the Bible? I completely admit that was basically where my mind went when I first started my journey. It’s true that Christians rather led the homeschool movement in the U.S. early on. And, it’s true that envisioning a traditional experience makes a lot of sense, because homeschooling supports were limited and the market really wasn’t replete with resources for a long time. However, these days, the homeschooling world has exploded. There are so many options from literature-based to classical to experiential to traditional to completely out of the box. Check out this video that explores the most common approaches in relatable terms.

And, then, if you’re curious, why not try a quiz to dig into what approach you’d enjoy using the most?

Homeschool.com Quiz

Eclectic-Homeschool.com Quiz

HomeschoolOn.com Quiz

Our Approach

This piece was easy for me. When I started looking into the different methodologies, I thought about the way we live out our lives and values, and the way I like to teach. My choice was Charlotte Mason (CM). The CM method is strongly literature-based, using what Miss Mason called “living books.” These are books that use narrative to describe the subject rather than the distanced, technical writing you find in textbooks. Her method is based in real life. She expected children to learn by doing everyday things, by going out into nature, and by discussing ideas with those around them. And, best of all for me, Miss Mason was utterly countercultural. She believed children were born into their personhood and deserved respect from the very start. She believed children were capable of great things and that inspiring children was far more effective than forcing or coercing them into action. She put her efforts into guiding children toward a love of God and a love of learning by gently fostering their self-motivation and moral compass. I especially love how well the CM method promises to support my Autistic child in exactly the way he learns best.

I am calling my preferred approach “eclectic Charlotte Mason” because there are such strengths in the other approaches. I like to keep an open mind, so I can act quickly to help my children if they are struggling to understand something they’re learning.

Schedule

In all areas of primary and secondary schooling, the debate rages over the right way to schedule the school year. It’s happening in the homeschooling community too. If you’re curious what the big deal is, check out this piece by ASL Rochelle. While I lean toward a year-round schedule, we’ve decided to follow our local public school system’s schedule for this first year. We didn’t want to introduce too many variables when we were just starting out and we wanted to be on the same schedule of breaks as our son’s peers.

School Name

Since I’ve already shared my school’s name in homeschooling groups, and because this blog is intended to be anonymous for the time being, I won’t be sharing the name here. But, I will say that I ultimately decided to select a name and create a logo for any future need that might arise, such as the use of letterhead. I also like the way it gives me closure to have a name and a logo. This is the new way and we’re leaving the old way behind. Please note that most states (including my own) do not appear to require a school to be named.

Curriculum

Even though I’m very new, I’m noticing that many folks brand new to homeschooling seem to jump immediately to “which curriculum should I use?” There’s a lot more decision-making to do before then! I’ve placed this Curriculum section last for that reason. We chose a CM-inspired curriculum called Blossom and Root. Peaceful Dad and I have decided to supplement with Kate Snow’s classical-inspired math series until our son has a good grasp of number sense before moving onto anything more rigorous. We need to understand how he learns math the best. In addition to our base curriculum and the math, we will also be adding a reading support supplement called Discover Reading, music and movement at home, and Spanish through the PBS show, Salsa.

It may not seem like we’re doing a lot, but you’d be surprised. The entire curriculum is gentle and largely play-based, but it’s broad and challenging at the same time. More than that, I realized something. My vision of what a homeschool day looks like was way off. Homeschool does not mean replicating traditional school at home. In traditional school, there are lots of disruptions, lots of moving from place to place, lots of waiting, etc. But, in homeschool, it’s easier to focus on work and get it finished. Check out this surprising outline explaining how long children should be focused on lessons.

How long is your homeschool day? Preschool - 15 to 30 min Kindergarten - 30 min to 1 hour 1st to 2nd grade - 45 mins to 1.5 hours 3rd to 4th grade - 1.5 to 3 hours 5th to 6th grade - 2.5 to 3.5 hours 7th to 8th grade - 3 to 4.5 hours High School - 3.5 to 6 hours

Wild, right? Our decision to choose a CM-inspired approach works especially well as lessons are very brief but highly focused.

Our plan is to spend no more than 40 minutes per weekday morning on school and to finish up by 11 AM. My kids will be getting a lot more outside time and free play than he did while he was in public school. We’ll also have leisurely lunches, more variety in terms of locations for the lessons, and a truly customized educational experience.

Once I got over my initial fears, everything started to fall into place. And, now, I’m really looking forward to starting school in a few short days! It really doesn’t matter what methodology you choose as long as it’s one that works for both you and your children. There is no perfect methodology. Homeschool graduates from every approach across the board end up in college and in successful careers. Homeschool provides an opportunity to shift gears to a different curriculum or an altogether different approach if a child needs something new to learn their best.

Whether you’re just curious or you’re trying to decide on COVID homeschooling or, like me, you’re transitioning to homeschooling for the duration, know this. Your child will thrive in homeschool, because your child has YOU.

In Defense of Unlimited Screen Time

Did y’all see the study from November 2019 that found screen use greater than the amount recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics was associated with decreased microstructural organization and myelination of brain white matter tracts that support language and emergent literacy skills? Big yikes! Does that mean screens cause brain damage? That’s certainly a question I’ve seen floating around the internet. Parents are rightfully concerned about screen time when study after study shows these terrible outcomes.

There’s that 2013 literature review on screen time use in children under the age of three. Bad news.

And, that 2015 literature review on the effects of screen time on children’s sleep found. Terrible stuff.

And, that 2018 literature review on the physiological and psychological effects of screentime. You might as well just give up at this point.

And, that whole Research Roundup that seems to exist to fill parents with dread. Oh, the horror!

But, check this out.

The 2013 review found that there is very little research on infants and toddlers and that more research is needed to better understand the environmental, socio-cultural, and behavioral correlates for young children.

The 2015 review found that none of the studies they looked at from 1999-2014 could establish a causal connection, measurement errors of screen time exposure and sleep limited the outcomes of the studies, and factors like characteristics and content of screens was not well understood.

And, the 2018 review found that psychophysiological resilience in children requires the ability to focus, good social coping and attachment, and good physical health all of which could be impacted by “excessive” digital media use. They further recommend more research on duration, content, after-dark use, media type, and number of devices.

In fact, there’s a 2015 literature review on the association of parental influences with physical activity and screen time among young children found that there is a causal connection between the parents’ physical activity and screen use and that of the children. It should come as no surprise that the behavior of parents directly influences the behavior of their children.

And, that first study I mentioned? The one from 2019 about how screens change the brains of little kids? If you look a little deeper, you’ll see that the sample size is both small and homogenous and that the survey and testing scores used in the study did not meet the threshold for statistical significance when income was included in the model. Those details change the story a bit.

Minding the Nuance

The reality is that there is valuable research happening, but we simply don’t understand what’s really going on. That’s why the pediatric organizations that exist to protect our kids are sounding the alarm. They’re saying look at all this data we’re seeing! Something is happening. Pay attention. So, if your family’s lifestyle flows better without any screens, by all means, do what works for you. This post is for those of you who want to incorporate screens without fear.

There are some things we can discern intuitively about screen use.

  • It can be distracting. Background sounds from a TV at low volume add static to the environment where infants and toddlers play. A measurable impact has been found on the ability of very small children to develop play skills naturally when TVs are used as noise fillers.
  • It can signal trouble. While we don’t know that screens cause depression, we do know that children who watch a lot of TV often have clinical depression that necessitates medication. So, it’s worth paying attention to what your kids are doing, so that you can intervene if necessary.
  • It can replace other healthful behaviors. A child who is watching TV or playing video games is not outside running around. And, a child who is watching TV or playing video games is not telling you about the troubles they’re having.

Now, something that doesn’t get enough air time in these discussions is the economics of restriction. Essentially, by restricting a thing, we increase its value. As explained by Pam Sorooshian, unschooler extraordinaire,

When you only allow a limited amount of TV, then the marginal utility of a little more tv is high and every other option looks like a poor one, comparatively. Watching more TV becomes the focus of the person’s thinking, since the marginal utility is so high. Relax the constraints and, after a period of adjustment and experimentation to determine accurate marginal utilities, the focus on TV will disappear and it will become just another option.

The more you restrict, the more they’ll crave screens. It can feel uncomfortable to loosen the reins and it’s pretty likely your child will consume seemingly impossible amounts of flickering deliciousness at first. But, over time, and in the presence of intentional investment in your child’s needs and wants, screens will lose their luster and become just another activity.

If you’ve been restricting your child’s screen time, because you wanted to do the best possible thing for them or because you felt their screen use was getting out of control, it’s ok. You’re not alone. Not by any means. Just know there is an approach to screen use that is responsible and respectful, whenever you’re ready.

Anti-Childist Screen Use Monitoring

One of the things about the furor over screens that particularly bothers me is the emphasis on cognition and school performance. We’re encouraged to limit our children to a screen schedule of our making, so they can possibly do better in school at some point in the future. But why? Why is academic success the measure of a good life? Why are we not prioritizing our children’s ability to regulate their own behaviors and activities by giving them ownership over the way they choose to spend their time?

We can trust our children to make good decisions when we set them up for success. In our house, I try to limit my compulsion to set rules for everyone. Whenever my kids want to watch TV, I’m ok with it. They have free access to their tablets to use as they wish. But, I also create an environment where they don’t have any desire to obsessively consume that visual stimulation. We spend lots of time outside. We read. We do chores. We play, craft, and bake together. When I see one of my kids struggling to transition from screens to another activity, I intervene. When that happens, it means there’s something deeper going on that needs to be addressed. It doesn’t mean I need to arbitrarily limit screen time. I have some guidelines for my family in the back of my mind to help ensure that I’m providing the most effective mix of activities and the best possible education around the use of screens.

  • Be Intentional. Consider using screens on purpose. That means avoiding the use of TVs as background noise and trying not to hand your kids screens to keep them occupied. Instead, let your children decide when they want to use screens and for how long. And, have them choose one screen at a time. In general, our TV doesn’t get turned on until 3 PM, if at all. There’s too much other fun stuff to do.
  • Be Interactive. Studies show that children can learn a great deal from interactive touchscreens when their parents help them and reinforce what they’re learning.
  • Be Wise. Particularly when it comes to older kids, parents need to prepare children for the risks of predators and dangerous malware. Talk to your kids about these dangers and make a plan together for how to stay safe.
  • Choose Educational Content. Programs like Sesame Street and Daniel Tiger provide important information and skills to little kids, especially when families reinforce in daily life what the kids are learning online.
  • Eat Without Distraction. One rule we do have is that our dining table is a toy-free, screen-free space when we’re having a meal. It’s a matter of mutual respect and consideration. Family meals are sacred in my house. They’re one of the few opportunities we have to get together and chat over one of the most fundamental human activities.
  • Get Plenty of Fresh Air and Exercise. Getting outside is so important for every member of the family, but especially children. They need lots and lots of movement throughout the day to improve focus, digestion, motor skills, and sleep. Rather than restricting screens, think about encouraging more movement for balance.
  • Practice Good Sleep Hygiene. The so-called warnings about blue light got a little kick in the pants this year. A study challenged the idea that blue light impacts circadian rhythms. We don’t actually know if blue light is a problem. What we do know is that stimulation of any kind interrupts our sleep cycle. In our house, all screens and radios go off at 6:30 pm. That’s our family time and we cherish the ability to interact with each other without distraction. For a great night’s sleep, keep your kids’ room very dark, relatively cool (65 to 68 degrees Fahrenheit), and comfortably quiet.

Like many parents, when I first became a mom, I was hypervigilant about everything. I stressed myself out trying to do everything by the book, until life taught me that wisdom beats out perfection every time. If you want your children to enjoy screens, let them. Formulate some guidelines for yourself and conduct self-checks to make sure your guidelines are working. Talk with your kids about your concerns. Let them know your values and also that you trust them to know what their minds and bodies need. As new evidence emerges, we’ll be in a great position to shift some of our guidelines to better support our children’s development. Screens are ok, y’all. Promise!